I can't deal.
My kids are driving me nuts. Not in a euphemistic way, either. Literally insane.
The one who needs to nap, spent the afternoon decorating her rug, rocking chair, and floor with dry-erase marker she was hiding in her bookshelf. I probably need to start strip-searching her before her naps. This was after a playdate where she repeatedly told her friend to "leave me alone" even though he was minding his own business on his bed, while she stood across the room playing with his toys.
The one who is supposed to be "the good baby" who is in the "nice phase" of babyhood, according to everyone, is fussy and won't let me put her down. In her defense, she does have a cold, and there is nothing more pathetic than a baby gurgling with a Demi-esque rasp because she has phlegm in her throat.
The one who needs to poop, hasn't in three days. The one who is supposed to be having naked potty-training week, won't stop pooping and thus I can't take the diaper off. And honestly, I don't have the energy or stick to it-iveness to potty train her this way anyway. You know how they always tell you not to stress over potty training, because no kid will start college in diapers? I don't believe it. I know we'll be unpacking her Pampers Cruisers Size 25 when we drop her off at her dorm.
She is pushing all my buttons, and I am rising to the bait every. single. time. I try to employ super nanny techniques, and they fail miserably. I tell her to stop kicking me or she will get a time out on the naughty stool. She races to the bathroom, plops her ass on the stool, and grins at me triumphantly. today she tried to use the bouncy chair as a catapult, pulling it back in an attempt to launch her sister across the room. Then she did what I think is called pile-driving in WWF, landing on me on the couch. I need the actual Super Nanny, and then when she shows up I'm heading to Cabo for 2 weeks.
Oh wait, the other one's screaming. Please hold.
Ok, pacifier re-inserted for the 2000th time today. Anyway, I know what the answers are. I know we need more structure in the day and less hanging around the house while Tessa naps. I know I need to be more consistent and less cranky. I know Lucy needs more one on one attention from me, that she is acting out to get my attention, but I can't help myself -- I'm not mature enough to rise above right now. I know the answer is not more preschool time, but that's what it's probably going to be. Or a nanny. Or both. What do you do when the solution to your kid's issues is that they be around you less? Am I going to be this irritable and shrill -- and even worse, ineffectual -- for the rest of their childhood? Will things really get better when we all start sleeping more, or is that just something I tell myself so I don't have to think about the fact that today is one of the days when I don't like my kid, and I'm starting to wonder why it never dawned on me before getting pregnant to figure out if I like kids at all.
The one who needs to nap, spent the afternoon decorating her rug, rocking chair, and floor with dry-erase marker she was hiding in her bookshelf. I probably need to start strip-searching her before her naps. This was after a playdate where she repeatedly told her friend to "leave me alone" even though he was minding his own business on his bed, while she stood across the room playing with his toys.
The one who is supposed to be "the good baby" who is in the "nice phase" of babyhood, according to everyone, is fussy and won't let me put her down. In her defense, she does have a cold, and there is nothing more pathetic than a baby gurgling with a Demi-esque rasp because she has phlegm in her throat.
The one who needs to poop, hasn't in three days. The one who is supposed to be having naked potty-training week, won't stop pooping and thus I can't take the diaper off. And honestly, I don't have the energy or stick to it-iveness to potty train her this way anyway. You know how they always tell you not to stress over potty training, because no kid will start college in diapers? I don't believe it. I know we'll be unpacking her Pampers Cruisers Size 25 when we drop her off at her dorm.
She is pushing all my buttons, and I am rising to the bait every. single. time. I try to employ super nanny techniques, and they fail miserably. I tell her to stop kicking me or she will get a time out on the naughty stool. She races to the bathroom, plops her ass on the stool, and grins at me triumphantly. today she tried to use the bouncy chair as a catapult, pulling it back in an attempt to launch her sister across the room. Then she did what I think is called pile-driving in WWF, landing on me on the couch. I need the actual Super Nanny, and then when she shows up I'm heading to Cabo for 2 weeks.
Oh wait, the other one's screaming. Please hold.
Ok, pacifier re-inserted for the 2000th time today. Anyway, I know what the answers are. I know we need more structure in the day and less hanging around the house while Tessa naps. I know I need to be more consistent and less cranky. I know Lucy needs more one on one attention from me, that she is acting out to get my attention, but I can't help myself -- I'm not mature enough to rise above right now. I know the answer is not more preschool time, but that's what it's probably going to be. Or a nanny. Or both. What do you do when the solution to your kid's issues is that they be around you less? Am I going to be this irritable and shrill -- and even worse, ineffectual -- for the rest of their childhood? Will things really get better when we all start sleeping more, or is that just something I tell myself so I don't have to think about the fact that today is one of the days when I don't like my kid, and I'm starting to wonder why it never dawned on me before getting pregnant to figure out if I like kids at all.
I love you. ANd, for whatever it's worth it does get a little bit better when you are getting more sleep.
And I have had days like this and I feel you and all that. I know it doesn't help much, but I just want to put that out there.
L and T are lucky and I hope they are healthy and give you less grief this week. We start preschool for the first time ever this week.
I can't deal, either.
I feel this way ALL. THE. TIME.
My therapist says (oh shit, I can't believe I just typed those words) that this is totally normal and every mother feels this way. She has two small children, too, so I almost believe her.
By the way, there's nothing wrong with conducting a full cavity search before naptime.