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long days

Since then it's been a book you read in reverse So you understand less as the pages turn Or a movie so crass And awkardly cast That even I could be the star.

 

I need to get this off my chest


If I type this out and publish it on the Internet, maybe my poor husband will be spared hearing this diatribe one more time. I'm not sure, but I think these words have come out of my mouth every September in some shape or form for the last 10 years.

Female contestants of Survivor, why do you refuse, year in and year out, to:

  • Carbo-load for a month before you go on the show. How can all of you be so emaciated (save the saline implants) four days into the show?
  • Pack weather-appropriate gear. Nowadays, you can find waterproof, moisture-wicking, lightweight outdoor gear at REI, Nike, or even Target. There is no excuse for going through challenges wearing a banndana for a top (especially given the saline implant issue mentioned earlier.)
  • Wear hardier undergarments. This is not the time for the lacey push up bras, ladies. SPORTS BRAS. This will also help you avoid some of the bandanna slippage seen tonight.
That is all, and I will never speak of this again. I promise.

 

for this post

 
Blogger Green Says: 8:15 PM  

Just a guess (as I would never EVER go on Survivor or a show like it) but I bet a lot of these people see it as their 15 minutes of fame. And maybe they'll get to be one of the chicks on the View like Elizabeth Hasslejerk if they just frame their floatation devices nicely enough.

Plus, looking emaciated is IN! Isn't it 1993 where you live, too?

 

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