long days

Flip open a parenting magazine, any parenting magazine.

In the front section there is sure to be a page with Real World Advice from readers. And on that page, there is sure to be a tip like this one from the pages of the Real Simple Family edition I picked up at the store this week:

"The best parenting advice I have ever received is 'Drive the car.' There is nothing like a backseat full of chattering girls -- of any age -- to provide valuable, even startling, insights into their daily lives, interests, concerns, hopes, and dreams."

Too true, Susan Bowers of Whittier, Calif. Too true.

I've had ample opportunity this summer, that's for sure. Lucy and I have spent a lot of time together in the car over the past few months, zooming from one appointment to the next. And then this summer, we would get up early-ish, pack up the car with DVDs, wipe-off dry erase coloring books, and lots of juice boxes and coffee, and head off for an hour's drive to the auditory processing clinic across the Bay. And then drive an hour back later in the morning. In between Milo & Otis and the Wizard of Oz, there is a little time for chatting.

And Susan Bowers is right -- you do get valuable, even startling insights from the front seat.

Take this exchange a few days ago, as I drove Lucy home from preschool.

Me: "Okay, we're going to go home, rest, have a snack, and then go to OT."

Her: "Just me and you, right? Not Tessie.

Me: "No, Tessa is coming too. She'll hang out in the waiting room with me."

Her: "But I don't want her to come! I only want you and me. I'm going to tell her she can't come."

Me: "No, you can't be rude to your sister."

Her: "What's 'rude'?

Me: "Rude is when you are mean and hurt someone's feelings. It's not okay to be rude."

Her: "Ohh no! But I love to be rude! I have to be rude! Being rude makes me happy! I am always rude!"

Me: stunned into silence, again.

And then this exchange, from today in the car on the way home from the other side of the Bay.

Her: "Hold my hand while you drive, mama."

Me: "No, that's not safe. Driving is about being safe."

Her: "No, driving is about going lots of places."

Me: "Well, yes. And being safe."

Her: "No, you don't need to be safe."

Me: "Yes, it's important so that we don't get hurt."

Her: "No, it's not."

Me: exasperated into silence.

Her, a few beats later, in a tone of patient explanation: "That was me being rude, mama."

Nothing like a backseat of chattering girls indeed.