long days

I couldn't do it.

Teacher Aubrey called me today and said that they had all noticed that TJ had such a great time at class on Tuesday and they were ready to go ahead and sign her up right now just to make it more convenient for me.

When I told her we were going to pass, she made the mistake of asking me why.

Why? It's inappropriate to try to "teach" babies "skills" like walking and rolling. They will walk when they are developmentally ready, not after a 15 week, $200 class. All babies need is some songs, a parachute, and some bubbles. They have the bubbles, now add in the itsy-bitsy- spider and the Wheels on The Bus, and they're good to go.

They should listen to me. This is not my first time around the baby gym block. Now I must slink back to Gymboree. Even singing trite childen's songs with the word "Gymboree" substituted in various choruses ("The wheels on the bus go round and round/here at Gymboreeeeeeee") would be better than being forced to roll down a mat with ten other moms and babies and attempt to drill TJ on the finer points of gross motor development.

When L was a baby, I was an avid mommy and me-er. We used to go to a mommy and me yoga class. And gymboree. And baby swim classes. And infant massage. And a new mom support group. And playgroups. That's just off the top of my head, in the first year. I'm laughing now, remembering it, because it seems so ridiculous and over the top New Mom.

But I'm also kind of proud of myself, looking back, for realizing how important it was to get out of the house once a day. Whether I managed to take a shower or not, at least I was trying to make some connections and stay busy. Which is hard when you're a new mom, because babies don't really do all that much and for a while at least it seems like you have a lot of time on your hands.

This is not a problem with baby number two, the too much time on your hands thing. There is no burning necessity to fill up your time with unnecessary classes, which is good because I pretty much remember all there is to know about infant massage and do not need any remedial classes. But somehow when I wasn't paying attention, she became almost one year old. In less than a few weeks, she'll be one. And all she ever gets to do is go to Whole Foods, which, while thrilling, doesn't offer much in the way of socialization. So it finally dawned on me that she may be ready for a baby class.

Which is how I ended up this morning at the recently opened local franchise of one of those baby gym places with TJ. She was clearly thrilled just to be out of the house, much to my great shame. She was so excited to be out, her little legs were kicking with anticipation and joy before we even got to the car.

The class was absolutely ridiculous -- although, to be honest, no more ridiculous than baby yoga of three years ago, but still completely unnecessary and over the top. Half of the babies came with an entourage of three or more caregivers wielding cameras, and much of the class was devoted to working on different baby "skills" such as walking and rolling. When they brought out the bubbles that come out at the end of every single baby class ever, a first time mom next to me kind of oohed and aahed, "Bubbles! What a great idea!" And it was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing. I guess this is why I never saw any second time moms in the infant massage class.

And even though I know now that I don't need to pay a 24 year old to teach my baby how to walk and jump, I think we'll go back and do a session and spend some time working on these critical baby skills. The crazy first time mom next to me wasn't the only one who loved the bubbles, and I don't have the heart to take them away from TJ now that she knows what she's been missing.

This is perhaps the most heartening and inspiring article I have read in quite a while. Bravo, doormen of LA's hottest nightclubs. Bravo.

I have been much enjoying this ongoing story about Mayor Newsom's male stalker. I especially like how he says he only wears Versace suits, he was observed photographing the Mayor's "lower half" at a press event, and that he was described by a San Francisco supervisor as Hello Kitty meets Liberace.

You would think I would be more sensitive to mental illness, but apparently I am not. I guess I always thought that if anyone was going to be arrested for being Gavin Newsom's stalker, it would be me.