no laughing
Living in a world of autism and therapists and care providers is a little weird sometimes. They tell you that your child is much more "compliant" than she used to be, and you are supposed to understand it is a compliment and a testament to all the progress she has made. Compliant? Is this what I wanted for her?
The week after she was evaluated, I tried to get her into a well-regarded social skills program. She had a little audition, to see how she meshed with the group and whether she would be a good fit with the other kids. The therapists told me she wasn't ready yet, that she was too "self-directed." I remember staring blankly back at them, not understanding that "self-directed" was a bad thing. It still doesn't make that much sense to me.
We went back to the program last week for another tryout. Lucy did much better this time, apparently, and the clinician told me she was so impressed with her progress. I guess she is not so self-directed anymore. Now she is happy to be directed by others. Yay?
Today when I picked her up from afternoon school, Lucy was feeling chatty and started filling me in on the rules at afternoon school. Apparently there are only two: No Running and No Laughing. No Laughing? I asked. That can't be right. But it is. "You have to stay calm," she recited.
I totally get it. I do. It's not that the kids aren't allowed to be happy, but the teachers are trying to keep them from getting out of control and manic. I understand. But, No Laughing? Really?
The week after she was evaluated, I tried to get her into a well-regarded social skills program. She had a little audition, to see how she meshed with the group and whether she would be a good fit with the other kids. The therapists told me she wasn't ready yet, that she was too "self-directed." I remember staring blankly back at them, not understanding that "self-directed" was a bad thing. It still doesn't make that much sense to me.
We went back to the program last week for another tryout. Lucy did much better this time, apparently, and the clinician told me she was so impressed with her progress. I guess she is not so self-directed anymore. Now she is happy to be directed by others. Yay?
Today when I picked her up from afternoon school, Lucy was feeling chatty and started filling me in on the rules at afternoon school. Apparently there are only two: No Running and No Laughing. No Laughing? I asked. That can't be right. But it is. "You have to stay calm," she recited.
I totally get it. I do. It's not that the kids aren't allowed to be happy, but the teachers are trying to keep them from getting out of control and manic. I understand. But, No Laughing? Really?
Oh, honey, I would feel turned upside down. Square is a circle and sweet is sour?
I understand not wanting to get little kids riled up. It's like when you're tickling a kid and they're thrashing around and then suddenly punch you in the face - it was sort of an accident, because they got carried away.
But how does no laughing work? Do people who laugh get punished or do the people who say or do something funny get punished? Is the punishment for laughing having to frown?
Sorry, I'm kind of poking fun at the idea. I'm sure there are real reasons for it, but you know ... it sounds so weird. I think of autistic kids and think of people locked in their own world. If an autistic kid is laughing about something in the real world, they've come out of their own, and that would seem like a good thing.
Regardless of my not understanding, congratulations on L being compliant. I hope that crosses over to home too, for you.