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long days

Since then it's been a book you read in reverse So you understand less as the pages turn Or a movie so crass And awkardly cast That even I could be the star.

 

is this how it is now?

I can't decide if this is just what grown up life is like, if I am being paid back for some type of karmic debacles in a past life, or it's just the law of averages catching up with me, but the last few years have seemed like back to back to back bad news. My dad dying, L. and all her problems, all the stress and anxiety during my pregnancy with T., my mother in law's cancer, and now my grandma has had a stroke.

Of course, this is glossing over all the joy and happiness and just the day to day contentedness that has also been there. Marriage. Two healthy childbirths. Watching our kids and nieces and nephews grow up. Making a home. I'm not so gloomy that I can't recognize all that I've been given and blessed with, but come on now. Another funeral? 2007 was supposed to be different, a fresh start. When my sister called to tell me about my grandma, I superstitiously -- and selfishly -- let my mind hope for a second that she had had her stroke in 2006, so that 2007 wouldn't be tainted by my terrible jinxing luck.

All this bad news makes me realize anew what a charmed life I led up until a few years ago. No one ever died or got sick. My parents got divorced, but that doesn't really count because they still got along and we were all relatively unscathed. I had to manufacture my drama and angst. Now it is real, and I am sick of it. I'm ready to go back to being the shallow uncomplicated former sorority girl with no larger issues than what bar to go to this weekend or nail polish color to choose. Seriously.

 

for this post

 
Blogger Green Says:

It comes in waves. My biggest wave was from the time two months after I turned 18 until I was about 21 - family members were dropping like flies. Then my other wave was about a year ago, what I think of as The Year of the Hearts. I hope your wave crashes into the shore soon, and you get calm waters for a long time afterwards.

 
 
Blogger Mrs. Blue Says:

I doubt your nail poilish was ever SO hideous that the fates decided to serve you up heaping plates of shit at your most sleep deprived state. Even if you were in a sorority.

And, I will 2nd what green said in that I hope you have many, many years of peace and calm and lovey happiness with your girls.

2007 is not jinxed.

 
 
Blogger Mrs. Blue Says:

That was supposed to be funny, haha but I don't know if it comes across like that.

Ugh, love to you.

 
 
Blogger happypix Says:

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your grandma.

I guess this type of cycle in inevitable especially as our families (parents, grandparents, relatives, pets etc) get older. The year that I got married (1997), my father-in-law had a brain tumor, my grandma, my husbands' grandparents and my aunt all died!
Since then it's been pretty quiet... I think of life as being kind of like the weather. Every so often, there's a whole lot of storms...

 
 
Blogger Stephanie Says:

mrs. blue, your original comment did make me laugh, especially since i hadn't connected the dots previously that this bad string of luck may in fact be karmic retribution for my sorority girl days. it makes sense, though.

 
 
Blogger Stephanie Says:

2007 is definitely not jinxed; you're getting all this bad juju out of the way now so the rest of the year can totally rock.

You so deserve a break, my friend. Much love to you.

 

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